Honestly, this is not one of those ‘’X things you need to do for success’’ kind of posts, it’s rather kind of a diary entry to get rid of all my thoughts.
But before I get started to get rid of all my frustration, I want to share a few details about myself:
I am Sinem, a 22-year-old ‘’entrepreneur’’ based in Vienna, Austria.
My family is originally from Turkey and I still feel deeply connected, even though I’ve not been there for more than two years.
I always loved learning and studied business administration.
However, right in the middle of my studies, I tapped into personal development and entrepreneurship. So I started organizing personal development workshops for young students. This was the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey and it was the point where I realized that I want to live life on my own terms and don’t want to work my ass off for a 9-to-5 job.
So far, so good.
For the second half of my studies, I kept organizing those workshops. Most were free of charge but I also earned good money by providing those workshops for organizations.
I’ve been blogging here on Medium, which also made me a few bucks.
And I’ve been producing and selling online courses.
So, in total, I was producing additional income by doing different things that I loved.
However, at the beginning of 2019, my studies were over and suddenly I was a ‘’full-time entrepreneur’’.
And honestly: I had no clue what to do.
I didn’t (and still don’t) know how to earn money, what I want to do, what my personal and professional goals are.
At the beginning of 2019, I also started an apprenticeship to become a certified trainer for adult education. I guess I just started it because I organized workshops in the past few months. Yet I never really thought and reflected on the decision.
And as I was doing the apprenticeship I simply started calling myself a trainer for personal development. However, I still don’t know if that’s what I actually want to be.
I also wrote a book this year, so I started calling myself an author — which I never intended to be.
What do I actually want?
I would not consider myself a lazy person at all. I am quite proactive when it comes to getting things done.
However, I don’t even feel like starting projects right now, because I don’t have an intended outcome.
I love to work with motivated, positive people.
I love hosting workshops but I also love having the flexibility to work on my laptop, wherever I might be.
Honestly? If I think about the goals, that I want to achieve in the next 5 years, I have no clue.
I don’t know if I want to speak on huge stages or be a digital nomad traveling around the world with my laptop.
I don’t know if I want to give corporate workshops or have an impactful business, helping young women to be more confident in life.
I don’t know if I want to have millions on my bank account or simply a healthy life.
I really don’t know and I blame myself for not having those specific goals.
I mean, I am teaching other people about smart goals and that you need a clear vision in life, but I don’t know about myself. That’s a bit paradox and it makes me feel bad.
Having too many options
I believe that the core problem is that I (and most other young people) have way too many options in life.
We are overwhelmed because there are so many things to try out and also all of them seem promising and a possible path to success in the future (no matter what success means to you personally).
Living in a world full of these possibilities is beautiful but at the same time really hard.
It’s simply crazy how many new opportunities are arising each and every day and it’s fucking hard to have a clear view.
What to do
What to do, if you have no clue about what to do in life?
I honestly don’t know.
Today I’ve spent some time watching a few inspirational videos and downloading books on how to find your purpose.
I actually even feel like I should know what I want to do with my life now. As if I don’t have the permission to feel free and try out.
When it comes to being a big speaker and trainer in the german speaking area, I know that what I should do is finding a niche and position myself as an expert. But seriously: I don’t know what I want to focus on.
I am 22, I don’t know if my passion is high-performance or confidence or mindfulness.
I simply need to try out and figure out what I am most capable of and what the world needs.
Isn’t it crazy that we as young people are putting such pressure on us because we think that something is wrong with us?
To be honest, it feels good to have written all these things done. It made me realize that I do have the power and permission to whatever I want, even though if I don’t have smart goals about my future (yet).
And most importantly: I feel that it’s super important that I am aware of my self-worth, no matter what I am doing and how far I am when it comes to my business.
In fact, my biggest goal in life is to live a life that is worth living, to spread love, empower people, make the lives of those who I love a bit better and be proud of what I’ve done.
Yet, if you have any advice on how to find out your purpose or focus in life — let me know! :)